Back in the Saddle

Hellloooooo oooouuuuttttt thheeerrrreeee.......

I'm finally back after the best/hardest experience of my life.

I spent 7 weeks in the hospital on bedrest only to deliver my special little man 6 1/2 weeks early. He was teeny tiny at a measly 2 lbs 13 oz but perfect! So incredibly perfect.

His "hotel" stay consisted of another 4 weeks in the NICU but now he's home.

HOME.

Home and thriving. Gaining weight like a champ and keeping his mommy up all night while he parties away. I love every single minute of it.

I wouldn't change my experience for the world. It taught me so much.

I still can hardly walk more than a mile because my muscles gave up on me but I still wouldn't change it.

He is a precious little miracle and I am so lucky and blessed to have him.



Welcome to the world Porter Jameson

5 Weeks Down

It's been five lllloooooonnnnngggggg weeks of bedrest here in my new casa aka room #2312.

I realized today that I need to get back into being myself even though I don't feel like myself.

Myself likes to read, and write, and paint, and read magazines....plenty of magazines. Yet, I have this large pile of magazines, and good ones, that I have hardly touched.

It's hard here, dealing with the day to day of nothingness....

Just trying to stay upbeat and keep the eye on the prize.

The prize being a healthy little boy.

It's hard to be so lonely. Even though I have always loved, no cherished, my alone time. This is so different. So confining. So secluded.

I've been outside once in the last 2 weeks. Once. For this outdoorsey girl. Once. Yuck.

It's just me and my little man. Making it through day by day with little spurts of visits from family and friends.

My poor husband. This is so hard for him. Taking on all household responsibilities plus a fairly new job and spending time with me in the hospital.
All I can say is I'm a lucky girl!

So, getting back to ME.

I need to:

Read

Create

Believe

Trust

And just BE.



Borrowed from perfectsentiment.blogspot.com
One of my most favorite places to visit, which tonight really lifted my spirits.
Thanks Erin!

Bed Rest....

Haven't been around lately due to an imposed 22 hour a day bedrest.
It's one of the hardest things I've ever done.

Everything is on hold in my life and my poor DH is having to manage life without me, while I sit/lay in a hospital bed for another 5-10 weeks.

So, while I lay here and try to take care of the little one growing in my belly, I contimplate this blog.

Where's it going?

What do I want out of it?

What will it become?

It's funny that my last post was titled "In with the good....out with the bad".

Irony.

So I'll be around reading and commenting and maybe writing. This little one will determine it all.

Please keep me in your prayers. I need it.

In with the good....out with the bad

Life since the beginning of February has been....well....tough!

We've had life changing news both good and bad and I came to realize that good news and bad can both be challenging, especially when they are walking hand in hand into your life.

I've been aching to get back to blogging but have had neither the time or the energy and still a sagging lack of motivation.

But here I am. Back after almost two months and with news to share.

First the bad because.... well just because.

My once vibrant MIL is sick....Moderate to Severe Dementia for now but it will continue to progress.

She's only 64 and she is, in ways, like my mother. She has done so much for us and has always been there through thick and thin.

Which leads us to spending all our time travelling 45 minutes away to be with her. Support her. Protect her. Provide for her.

It is all consuming, terrifying, tiring, and sad.

The decisions and communication that go on with a disease like this are immense and I never would have had any idea that at my "young" age I would be dealing with something so HUGE!

64.....only 64......



~Sigh~

O.k. on to the good....

The hubs and I are finally starting our family.

We have a little boy due in August.

We are ecstatic, overjoyed, humbled, mystified, and greatful.

This is a whole new beginning to this wonderful life we have made with each other. I can't wait to see what the future holds and what fun this little "man" will bring into our lives.

The fun has begun with picking out names, choosing nursery colors, nesting..... all the exciting stuff that I missed out on when I lost my first....

I am so happy to be past the scary time and on to the next stage and look forward to sharing my journey with anyone who will listen.


So....it looks like I will be taking care of not one but two new people. My MIL who will soon loose her independance and will be very angry and depressed, and my little man who will soon be the light of my life and will change my very existence in more ways than I can imagine. But in ways that I can't wait to experience.

Sunnier Side of Life

I'm leavin' on a jet plane

Don't know when I'll be back again.


Actually I do know when i'll be back. I wish I didn't but I do.

We're headed to sunny Southern California and I am so ready for the warm sun on my shoulders.

What's that song?

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy.....Isn't it John Denver?

Anyway, the hubs and I are travelling with his mother, who has early stage dementia, so that she can spend some time with her siblings before she doesn't remember them anymore.

Makes me sad but I'm so happy to be able to do this for and with her now before it's too late. The last few months have been a struggle. Neurologists, sleep studies, bloodwork, oh my.... Yes, we need this. As a family. Together and happy.

But, I did tell the hubs we'll have to put our patient pants on. I've been wearing mine a lot lately and it's his turn to join in.

And the sunshine....oh the sunshine. I can't wait.

AND...........

I got my camera. It's locked and loaded and just waiting for all the inspiration that is and will be flowing out of me.

I can't wait to share since I haven't had a camera in what seems like forever.

So Mia is hitting the road and will be out of touch for about a week.

When I return....It'll be a whole new Mia/Bay. I can feel it brimming already.

Sunny Southern Cal....Ready or not....Here we come!

M.I.A

Yep, that's me Missing in Action.

I might start calling my self Mia for short....

I just haven't been motivated. December killed me.

Almost literally.




It was the Hubs last month at his much loved job. That broke my heart.

I had a multitude of cakes for a multitude of occasions(and I made a vow to myself that I may never make another wedding cake-I did say may never....)

We did the ever fun travelling 40 miles, one way, to see my family and the in-laws on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Then, delivered the Wedding cake on New Years Eve to my new cousin, the same 40 miles there and 40 miles back with a topper on my lap and two sleep deprived nephews in the back seat!

And all the while creating while not feeling so creative.

Not really checking in to see what my favorite bloggers are up to.

I think the fact that my camera is kaput is really getting to me too. I haven't taken a picture in a month, and anyone who knows me knows that is sooooo out of the ordinary....

I just haven't felt inspired.

The last week and a half I've had a TERRIBLE cold. Man, it was a bad one. Then the hubs got it and you know men....they don't do so well when their sick! Poor baby....

So I'm forcing myself back and out of this rut.

2010 is going to be a good year....

I'm buying myself a camera I've been dying to get (actually it was kind of a present-the fam gave me moolah for Christmas so that I can get myself a more professional camera-yippeeeee)

But, I haven't bought it yet-which tells you how icky I've been....

I mean, waiting a month to get this:



shows me I need to get myself together.

I have plans....

Families to photograph.

Childrens expressions to catch.

Dogs making cute faces.

Babies to pose.

Landscapes calling my name.

Ice crystals still hanging over the stream where we hike but threating to melt if I don't hurry up.

So it's time.

No time like the present huh?

Heck 2010 is already 20 days gone. I'd better get a move on.

Cause really